Sunday, January 25, 2015

Problem solving at 2:00 a.m. in medicinal hell--By Kathryn McLoughlin Collins--United States

Problem solving at 2:00 a.m. in medicinal hell

The alarm's on the bed so I won't fall.
Really I'm able to get to the bathroom.
The Dr. told me it's okay.
Says the nurse "it's not in your chart."

I think: "God, please get me out of here", but if I get
up, the bells with sound and an RN herd
will race down the hall scolding me all the way
like I was a little girl.

Had their ways, I'd be straight-jacketed,
(safe from harm, other than psychological),
and the nurses could take off their clogs
and stay at their station and chat.

I think I'll wet the bed and buzz someone
Problem solved.

Born in 1945, Kathryn Collins is a native New Yorker now living in Connecticut whose works have been described as “a gentle sort of poetry” by the editor of her first book No Need for Breadcrumbs, published by BeWrite Books, 2004. Her work has also appeared in numerous anthologies. Inspired by her beloved grandmother, she developed a great love of poetry at an early age and has been writing for 20 years.


  1. I know it is wrong to laugh at this poem, but I cannot help myself.
    Sometimes, we just have to roll with the flow, even when it is not a downhill trip.

    Great poem!
    Myke Todd

  2. Kathryn,
    I feel for you. No one deserves to be treated this way. That hospital staff deserves the straight-jacket, not you.
    Yours truly,
    David Fox

  3. Oh Kathryn, if that weren't such a tragic poem it would be funny. Thank you for sharing your talent that reminds me so much of how my dear mother used to love to write satirical poems even in the midst of her hospital stays which I know she hated. I can just hear her saying "I think I'll wet the bed and buzz someone. Problem solved". I hope you are better and able to be out of the hospital.

  4. Hi Kathryn. I got a nice chuckle from your poem. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for sharing and continued blessings!

    -MJ (

  5. Kathryn: Been there, done that--not the wet the bed part, but something as spirited and meant to tick off the uncoperative nurse who refused to check with the doctor to affirm the instructions he gave to me. Your captured my sentiment. Thank you.