Saturday, April 4, 2015

Porter, Madam ?--By Alan McAlpine Douglas--United Kingdom

Porter, Madam ?

Were I not such
a gentleman,

I would notice the bags
under your eyes,

and offer to help
you carry them.

Alan McAlpine Douglas, father to 5 and grandfather to 3, has been writing poetry since 1993. His idiosyncratic voice has produced thousands of poems in this time, and he finds it quite hard to stay serious, even when he means to. He also enjoys writing spoofs, using well-known poems or songs like Clementine or In the Ghetto as his models.


  1. Hello! Ha, ha, very funny, Alan............. I think they'd love this, too, on Saturday Night Live......... lol .............. careful now, your sense of humor is really showing....... Sheri

  2. Alan,
    This is too funny! A great play on words.
    Your new friend,
    David Fox

  3. Allan

    Its a wonderful help triggering poem..Kkkk. Funny claim anyway.

  4. Hi Alan. It was a pleasure reading and enjoying your poem. Thank you for sharing and continued blessings!

    -MJ (

  5. Alan, you always manage to make me laugh with your wit and humor. I enjoyed this fun poem that brought me cheer today. Cheers and Aloha, Connie