Coming Home
I pushed at the open door, no sound
just darkness inside. Dust filtered my
nostrils, a mustiness of lost years
inhabited my senses. A loose floorboard
creaked in the stairwell, the aroma
of her Chanel provoked memories of my
living hell. A tear of self-pity congealed
in the dirt at my feet. I switched on the light,
"Hello son I knew you'd be back; He's gone..."
Note: Structured Prose Form illustrates there is only two real differences between prose and Structured prose poetry-Visual presentation and the fact that poetry is written to read aloud, for however we structure a poem traditionally or otherwise, poetry is constructed to be read aloud. (Note taken from my Kindle ebook Structured Prose - language with shape)
Brian Strand has created short poetic forms including ' broken monoku' (a haiku variation) and 'footle' (a trochaic monometer with witty, topical, etc themes)and Captioned Cartoon, an Ekphrasis combining his art and poetic interests. He has published a seven kindle ebook series Poetic forms; A Strand of Verse; My Choice Strand Verse; A Strand Guide; Christianity Explained; A Strand critique; and Captioned Cartoon Ekphrasis. Brian has written nearly 200 Amazon reviews and is a Wiki poetry and art editor.
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem. You portrayed well a story that could go on and on in imagination. Well written.
ReplyDeleteCharlene
Thank you Charlene for your kind words,for me a poem needs to have an enigma and like a painting each time of viewing (or reading in the case of our art) is an 'as is' moment between the participants to provoke the imagination,feelings or whatever.
ReplyDeleteBrian, you had me in suspense and I felt like I was there with you smelling her perfume in a dark, dusty house. If there were a way to turn a light on our entire lives, we'd find many such sad moments. Beautifully written! Best wishes, Carolyn Devonshire
ReplyDeleteThank you Carolyn.Such moments exist as you say within us all,inspiration will recall them and structured prose is the best form illuminate them to others..Best wishes with your creative writing.Rgds Brian
ReplyDeleteDear Brian
ReplyDeleteA tear of self-pity congealed
in the dirt at my feet.
These two lines sank into my heart like an anchor overboard. I find "He's gone" the perfect ending especially with its "..."
love,
Kathy
Thank you Kathy for your kind comment,enigma has always played a part in my poetry and I rate this structured prose form one of my best.Have a good weekend.Rgds Brian
ReplyDeleteWell-written with vivid images.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ndaba for your kind compliments Rgds Brian
ReplyDelete