still pond...
the growing ripples
within
_______________
night-long rain...
sinking into the beanbag
I read Neruda
_______________
summer blues...
the familiar scent of
dog-eared pages
_______________
spring dusk –
I peel away layers
of darkness
_______________
russet skies…
palm trees reach out for
the fading moon
_______________
Shloka Shankar resides in Bangalore, India. She is notable for her work in anthologies of repute including Traversal of Lines, The Dance of the Peacock, The Unsettled Winter and Family Matters. Shloka has also seen her poems published in numerous other literary journals including Urban Confustions, RaedLeaf Poetry India, Writers Asylum, The Literary Yard, Wordweavers India Asahi Haikuist Network and Creatrix.
The technique of juxtaposition is well explored in these emotionally and visually effective haiku.
ReplyDeleteThe allusive second haiku reminds me of Neruda's "Rain" (Rapa Nui) while in the third one Shloka's use of synaesthesia is emotionally effective.
These two well-crafted poems tell us one timeless fact:
We read to know that we are not alone -- C. S. Lewis
Chen-ou
Thank you so, so much, Chen, for taking the time to give me such a detailed and wonderful feedback! :) Truly means a lot to me :)
DeleteInteresting feedback, Chen-ou.
DeleteAlthough Shloka began writing haiku only four months ago, one can feel that she is a talented poetwho takes the genre seriously. I expect to read some memorable haiku written by her in the future.
I agree with Rita. Her haiku are like a breath of fresh air and I too look forward to reading more memorable haiku by Shloka.
DeleteThank you so so much for your encouragement, warm words and support. :)
DeleteDear Shloka,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Whispers! It's so good to see you already have a lovely comment from a talented writer. I hope you enjoy your time spent here. Please let me know if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
Karen
Hi Shloka, your Haiku are fun to read, with words cleverly placed and leaving a wise and clever message,, too. We are all the same in these moments of great inspiration. You have given much thought in your juxta-placed efforts which, even with such a message delivered are only unique to you and your writing. Sheri - www.poetryandbeyond.net
ReplyDeleteWow! Shloka, these are very, very well done. I don't often understand haiku, but all of yours had clear messages. Bravo, and welcome to "Whispers." I hope you'll continue to share your work with us for a long time to come. Blessings, Carolyn
ReplyDeleteWelcome to "Whispers" Shloka and thank you for a very enjoyable read. The more I read haiku the more I like it and your talented write has me liking it even more. Clear messages in such few words have been captured by you amazingly well. I will look forward to reading more of your poems.
ReplyDeleteLove, Charlene
Thank you so very much, Karen, Sheri, Carolyn and Charlene :) I'm most delighted to be a part of the Whispers family :) And I'm extremely glad that all of you enjoyed reading my poems :) Much love and gratitude :)
ReplyDeleteWarmly,
Shloka
Thank you, Sara Kendrick, for the following comment--
ReplyDeleteI was delighted to read your Haiku/Senryu..Each had its own special quality
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my poems, Sara :)
DeleteSholda, welcome to Whispers and thank you for the wonderful haiku. I especially like the last one. When I think of "palm trees reaching out for the fading moon," I think of a beautiful night sky with the moon providing the light and the wind embracing the palm trees, helping them to wave. I really enjoyed your work. Hope to see more. Continued blessings!
Delete-Maurice J. Reynolds, Owner / Editor
TGBTG! Publications / Creative Inspirations
www.tgbtgpublictions.com
Thank you so much, Maurice :)
Delete