Thursday, March 3, 2016

Special Feature Collaborative Poem--By Shloka Shankar, Dwarakanathan Ravi, Niranjan Navalgund, and Garima Behal--India

Conditions Apply
(Experimental Poetry) 

By Shloka Shankar, Dwarakanathan Ravi, Niranjan Navalgund, and Garima Behal

If the Beatles sing about bubblegums, I will give you a piggyback ride.
If purple could be any colour except purple, Santa Claus will come early this time.
If Pomeranians get perms, a monastery will crumble to debris.
If chocolates start tasting like tofu, then the stars will visit me.
If the slippers are too small for her, I will race the wind.
If I find her address, then the clouds will bring us rain.
If I fall in love, then you and I will have a baby with a third-eye.
If you rub a rabbit’s foot, then something better will help us all.
If you say that again, the youngest in the family will be struck by lightning.
If you are nicer to him, then Suppandi* will make it work!

Authors' notes--

*Suppandi is a comic character who appears in Tinkle comics.

Experiment: One person writes a clause beginning "if" or "when"; without seeing this, a second person writes a clause in the conditional or future tense. (Taken from one of Charles Bernstein's experiments.)

“Conditions Apply” features "if" clauses written by Dwarakanathan Ravi and Garima Behal, and "then" clauses by Shloka Shankar and Niranjan Navalgund. 


  1. Fantastic humor piece... I laughed too hard at the "struck by lightning" portion. I would say, this experiment is an overwhelming success.

  2. Everyone,
    An interesting poem. Welcome Dwarakanathan and Garima to Whispers!
    Your new friend,
    David Fox

  3. Dear Shloka Shankar, Dwarakanathan Ravi, Niranjan Navalgund, and Garima Behal,

    So glad to see you already have two comments on your delightful experiment. I agree with Michael. Welcome Dwarakanathan and Garima! I hope you will continue to be a part of Whispers.

    Blessings and Best Wishes,

  4. Enjoyed reading very much. Would love to try it someday.

  5. Fun poem, thanks for sharing your talents! Nice collaboration! Good wishes, Chris~

  6. Thank you, Isha, for the following--

    What a different way of expression, something I would not have thought of. There is always something new to learn, so it seems, from these imaginative poets. Congratulations to them.

    Yours sincerely
    Isha Wagner

  7. A creative introduction to poetry,for any age at any level; a humorous monster; now there s title to a short story! All the best to you all! Ralph.

  8. Loved this made me chase up bernstein whom I had not know interesting stuff well done

  9. It is certainly a different way to approach poetry I liked it once I got the premise of what you were trying to achieve and I think you did manage it Shloka and Niranjan, well done!

  10. Thank you, everyone for your generosity and encouragement :) delighted to be here! :)

  11. This is an excellent piece of Nonsense verse! Made my day!